I'm falling and I can't get up...

OK now it's my turn, I feel like I'm falling, I keep looking back to regain my balance... but I just keep sliding,,,

It started long ago with me disliking kids... it seems that they just don't have any respect for anything - anymore.

Then it was little battles just to get respect, from ComEd just to get our cable to work properly. Then it was Target when I wanted to exchange a toaster. Now it's the constant bickering with my husband. My youngest incessant displeasure with everything I say - without asking what I mean. Thanksgiving was horrendous, with my mom being miserable and angry, hurting my husband's feelings. Christmas has been lack-luster and empty.

I'm sliding down, lower and lower and I'm wondering where the bottom is...

I keep trying to pull myself up... trying to put on a happy face...

When people piss me off or disrespect me - I just say OK, I won't bother with them anymore.

and I slip lower and lower... I feel like an empty shell... like someone's licked all the chocolate off of me... and there is nothing left... no peanut, no sweet inner center... NOTHING.

I keep trying to find 'my joy'... but I'm having trouble just catching my breath...