...just tell her how lonesome you are... most times she doesn't WANT anyone to come to S-E-E her... but when you get there... she is so happy and it really cheers her up..

i think its because she hates looking how she looks... and being so needy (she calls it being a burden)...

i think the only thing that doesn't hurt is her eyelashes...

and it must be so depressing to be alone... inside her head - this disability is so strange and she must feel like a feak-show...

I know she doesn't DO anything for herself... and I understand that she is in too much pain to do it... I think I would have taken all the pills one night... just to get outa the spiral...

she wakes up and is not gonna feel any better than right then,,, she doesn't want to get up cauze she has nothing to move for,,, nothing to live for,,, doesnt' want to eat cauze it will probably upset her stomach,,, doesn't want to shower cauze what if she can't get outa the tub,,, can't clean her apt cauze she is in so much pain,,, can't do her laundry cauze of the weather and so it piles up... she cant take out the garbage cauze of the weather and so it piles up... ALL SHE DOES HAVE is her doggie and her cats... and her new TV......

heck... if I had her pills here... I'd take all of them... I feel so lost... I can't imagine the imense lonely-ness and scared-ness... and empty-ness...

AND she didn't DO anything to deserve this... she had always worked hard and worked for what she had... never was a bother to anyone, never asked for help....

MAYBE this is what GOD is trying to teach her... but what is HE trying to teach me...
my heart just aches and I want to be there with her...